On March 6, 2026, I skeeted out the following:
I had thrown down the gauntlet, challenged the Magic community, and, engaged with social media to hold myself accountable to pushing out a real turd of a piece of writing. Yet, my think-pieces are seminal works in the Phelddagrif community, getting 100% of all possible upvotes when they’re posted in reddit.com/r/phelddagrif. I know the people will talk about what I write, because they love to think my thoughts with me. Paradoxically, I set myself up to fail by making this post, which made me a little bit angry.
Almost as angry as Wizards continued refusal to print an official 1/1 hippo token while this thing exists:
Hypothetically, if you need a 1/1 hippo token while playing in the feature match area of something like, let’s say, the Magic: the Gathering Pro Tour, you won’t have anything to represent it with! They’ll probably kick you out!
What is a humble Phelddagrif player to do? Go to etsy dot com and sort through a heap of AI Waifu tokens to find a suitable hippo token to play with? How horrible, how atrocious, how despondently despair inducing. Sifting through the unreal, those that were merely generated to find the illustrated; Who will sift through the tokens made with tools that induce psychosis to find the ones that were made with care and don’t poison the air. It would take a paragon of great moral character to act as a counterweight to the moral turpitude of tokens with AI art.
Sometimes, in the depths of our deepest anger, we arrive at a brilliant idea on how to escape our flippant social media promises: What if I, Questioning Phelddagrif, reviewed all possible hippo tokens? I have already braved the pornographic sands of the ai-riddled internet for every human generated hippo token one can purchase. Why, it might be a public good, offering a service to the community, while appealing to the lowest common denominator as a rating listicle. And you, dear reader, can’t get angry and say this is unexpected because I’ve done this genre before, you thought I forgot? A Phelddagrif never forgets!
Besides, I already have these tokens on my desk next to my extra copies of Intruder Alarm, Seedborn Muse, and Angel’s Trumpets. How long could this take, realistically?
Realistic
A token already prompts the question about what ‘the real’ is. A token is meant to be a representation, but they are far from being some sort of ghostly presence that points away from itself. Tokens are game pieces with impact, with heft! Creature tokens can attack and block, deal damage and all sorts of other things! You can Wrath of God a creature token. Could God wrath away a ‘representation’? I’m not sure, and I doubt it.
Many artists take the path of portraying the 1/1 hippo as a realistic hippo. One you might see in the wild, locked in a zoo, or at your local or non-local swimming pool. These depict the gaping maws, the incisors and the rippling muscles of beasts driven by instinct. And the water, oh god, yes, the water these hippos are in! You cannot deny that it is sometimes a feature as well.
Classic Art Token available through Original Magic Art
These Gustav Mutzel tokens were the first set of hippo tokens I got when I started to play Phelddagrif. The classical art tokens series is a really genius idea. Use what is already there, literally reframing the work into a game piece. The piece itself is great, the wise and weary eyes of the mother hippo looking up at her calf standing on her neck with an impish grin. These aren’t looks of pain, but of a comedy duo performing some cosmic routine. And wow! That foot on the rock in the foreground is so large and ominous. I wonder what it will do.
Unfortunately, The foot is done a disservice with the textbox giving the title of the work and artist, a necessary addition but one that hinders the work and crowds the foot. Cropping it to focus solely on mostly the head of the larger hippo also detracts a point from me.
There is a pleasant confusion created by this token as well: which hippo is supposed to be the token? surely that fully grown hippo doesn’t quite seem like a 1/1 (which will be a common refrain throughout these reviews), but this piece has both a baby hippo and an adult. This recollects Ron Spencer’s Bear Cub, which focuses on the cute bear about to get attacked by the first token ever made, while mother bear lurks half in frame, ready to jump in and defend her cub. This interpretation doesn’t make so much sense, where bears have been established as 2/2 creatures, hippos are, usually, larger. So which is the one the Phelddagrif player is giving? How delightful, to give your opponents a riddle!
But that’s just the art! What about how this functions as a token? Well, you can put it on your board to represent a 1/1 hippo token. It’s flammable, but most cardboard is as well. I dropped the token from a height of 10 feet and it didn’t shatter, so they’re also safe to do that with. I shook the token too, because I saw the Professor do that for his reviews, and the token was shook. Overall, you can use this token to represent something on your board, especially a 1/1 hippo token.
I rate this token 5 hippos out of 5!
Hippo Token by Jeff A. Menges (Available through OMA)
While the last token was done by a classical artist (maybe, I don’t know), this token is done by a classic Magic artist. Swords to Plowshares, Bazaar of Baghdad, Moat! Jeff Menges has done many heavy hitter cards and this hippo token surely ranks up there! The green border is a great reminder of the creature’s color, and gives the token a ‘retro’ feel. I think this is an excellent representation of a hippo token with such a variety of colors from browns and whites to oranges and blues, while remaining grounded and not turning into a psychedelic Phelddagrif token experience. This is, perhaps, the most serious, or the least silly, hippo token on this list.
But what’s that bird doing there? Is the bird the one doing the attacking? Perhaps that’s why the token is so weak, since many bird tokens are 1/1s. Although there are almost as many that aren’t 1/1s. And with the exception of the chocobo token, they normally fly. Is the hippo meant to be the vehicle that delivers the bird to your opponent to give a light peck? I’m not sure, and the distracting bird will probably raise these same questions from your opponent trying to track the game state.
But that’s just the art! What about how this functions as a token? Well, you can put it on your board to represent a 1/1 hippo token. It’s flammable, but most cardboard is as well. I dropped the token from a height of 10 feet and it didn’t shatter, so they’re also safe to do that with. I shook the token too, because I saw the Professor do that for his reviews, and the token was shook. Overall, you can use this token to represent something on your board, especially a 1/1 hippo token.
I rate this token 5 hippos out of 5!
Hippo Token by Ken Meyer Jr. (Available through OMA)
KMJ’s token captures the kinetic force of a hippo on the savannah, spittle and blood flying from massive jaws as it lets out a pachyderm war cry. The artist of Mystic Remora and Kird Ape does not disappoint. This one begins to offer an answer as to why hippo tokens are so weak. Despite this being a particularly girthy hippo who, it could be that it is the spittle that’s hitting your opponent that deals a single damage. I don’t think it’s a particularly satisfying answer, but it’s making an attempt to answer our questions.
But that’s just the art! What about how this functions as a token? Well… you can put it on your board to represent a 1/1 hippo token. It’s flammable, but most cardboard is as well. I dropped the token from a height of 10 feet and it didn’t shatter, so they’re also safe to do that with. I shook the token too, because I saw the Professor do that for his reviews, and the token was shook. Overall, you can use this token to represent something on your board, especially a 1/1 hippo token.
I rate this token 5 hippos out of 5!
Rope Arrow Hippo Token (Available through OMA)
Rope Arrow takes their psychedelic style and applies it to the infamous hippo token. This hippo demonstrates their strength by smashing a watermelon, a Gallagher-inspired fruitsplosion juicing the viewer. I’m a big fan of this one for multiple reasons, but the name of the token being spelled out in watermelon chunks tops the list.
It’s easy to believe that a hippo in captivity might be a 1/1, having a meekness instilled in it from fellow captive creatures. And, I suppose, a launched watermelon seed would deal more damage than animal spit. The capacity for stupefying acts of violence lurks in the hearts of all creatures, can we really justify this one being so weak when the object of its wrath is more melon than cranium? Lest we forget that these zoo animals sometimes go rogue.
I heard a funny rumor about this token too, that it was commissioned by someone who is very handsome, sometimes funny, and whose company people sometimes enjoy! But enough about whoever that is, how does this work as a token?
As a token, you can use it to represent a hippo, it can catch fire like everything else, you can drop it and it’ll be fine, and feel free to shake it. These tokens come in a thicker card stock than the other ones too, they feel a bit more durable.
I rate this token 5 hippos out of 5!
Aaron Miller Hippo Token, (Available through the Artist’s Website)
Aaron Miller is no stranger to depicting hippos on a magic card, so it’s only fitting to use his tokens given the prominent role the Zombified Greatmaws played in the Aetherdrift story by pulling Basri and Zahur’s chariot to victory. Maybe the most lore relevant hippos will ever be.
Aaron Miller’s hippos stand firmly in the middle between KMJ’s and Jeff Menge’s hippo tokens. Miller’s hippo is languidly pushing itself through the water, but keeping its mouth open flashing its teeth to show that this hippo can do some real damage. The watercolor effect is stunning on the token as well, the discrete boundaries of the hippo melting away as the light reflects off the water. Half of the hippo is submerged in the water.
A question about the reality of the beast: is it really there, or is it a trick of the light on the water, and how close will you get to find out?
This is the first token to be offered in foil on the list. Aaron Miller also offers these tokens in not only foil, but with the rainbow dragonfire signature as shown above. If you’re looking to “bling” out your Phelddagrif deck, this is a good choice. He is one of the few artists who still brings hippo tokens to cons, so you might be able to get one in person too if you catch him at a MagicCon!
As a token, you can use it to represent a hippo, it can catch fire like everything else, you can drop it and it’ll be fine, and feel free to shake it.
I rate this token 5 hippos out of 5!
AmaranthAlchemy Hippo Token (Available through their website)
This is the most egregiously ferocious of the “realistic” hippo tokens, and it definitely communicates “green” without just the border. It is an interesting take, that the viewer is watching a hippo while wearing night-vision goggles, but the teeth are way too sharp nearing fangs, to effectively convince me that this is really a 1/1 hippo. The lack of pupils and green tint makes this hippo look a bit too much like Slimer for my tastes.
As a token, you can use it to represent a hippo, it can catch fire like everything else, you can drop it and it’ll be fine, and feel free to shake it.
I rate this token 5 hippos out of 5!
Towerslayer 1/1 hippo tokens Available through their etsy store
These pixel pachyderms provide comic relief: cross eyes and a silly grin with slightly open mouth. It’s hard to take these seriously and they aren’t trying to be taken seriously. The shade on the hippo skirts the line between the more world accurate grey to the fantastical purple, playing an optical trick that makes one wonder if a purple hippo really isn’t that crazy.
These begin to start to stretch the realm of “realistic”, but it isn’t the object of study that’s in the realm of the fantastic, but the style chosen to depict it. Perhaps there could be a more photorealistic hippo presented through pixel-art, but these tokens would look at home in any of those old videogames I never played. Maybe Super Mario?
As a token, you can use it to represent a hippo, it can catch fire like everything else, you can drop it and it’ll be fine, and feel free to shake it.
I rate this token 5 hippos out of 5!
The Unreal
“Questioning Phelddagrif,” You are saying, dear reader, as you sip your beverage of choice before forcing yourself the mandatory gulp the beverage that Society tells you to drink, “A video game isn’t real. A green hippo isn’t real either. Why can’t you understand that these are pictorial representations of hippos and not the real thing. Furthermore, there has always been some gap between art and game mechanics, especially power and toughness. It’s not fair of you to criticize these tokens in this way! And what does it mean to even review a token, especially if you’re going to say the same thing every time?!“
Which is a very astute observation. Perhaps it is too much to expect an answer to the question why a hippo token is so weak, at least in the realm of the real. Perhaps we should continue looking towards more abstract representations of hippos, marching further into the unreal, there’s no time to think about that second question!
Chibi Hippo tokens available at Megachibi.com
A chibi hippo is an odd task. The style’s hallmarks are a chubby body, stubby limbs and a large head, which a hippo normally has. THe major difference for this hippo is the anime eyes, large and expressive with (not just one!) but two reflections in it! While not as adorable as the little freak that Mützel drew, I still find this guy pretty cute! Other than the chibi style, this is a pretty normal looking hippo, not nearly as bizarre and strange as some of the others. Still, the style puts it on this side of the border between real and unreal.
As a token, you can use it to represent a hippo, it can catch fire like everything else, you can drop it and it’ll be fine, and feel free to shake it.
I rate this token 5 hippos out of 5!
RK Post Hippo Token (Available through the Artist’s Website)
A fixture at most magic conventions, RK Post hippo token depicts a dapper hippo doffing a suit jacket and tie. The hippo has something between a mellow and smug expression on their face, eyes half closed and wearing a sly smile. These tokens are simply fantastic, I would say some top tier hippo tokens and would not be surprised if these have graced many commander games in the past. I’m also a fan of the use of background to indicate the tokens color, an easy enough detail to miss or ignore entirely if you want to use the token for a different use (human tokens seem to come in a lot of colors, and there’s not much sense in getting a bunch of different ones). I am a huge fan of these surreal tokens, while depicting a realistic hippo it maintains the silliness of Phelddagrif. The only downside is that it reminds me of Alice in Wonderland, which is not a very good book.
Also, RK Post has this playmat, which, while not a hippo, feels like it has thematic resonances with Phelddagrif. If anyone agrees with me, I’ll buy one of these. Leave a comment, or respond on bluesky, telling me if you agree and I’ll support an artist.
As a token, you can use it to represent a hippo, it can catch fire like everything else, you can drop it and it’ll be fine, and feel free to shake it.
I rate this token 5 hippos out of 5!
StarcityGames Creature Collection Token by Andrea Radeck (Not available anymore, get a time machine or scour auction sites)
This one is the classic. Allegedly. I wasn’t playing Magic for the heyday of the creature collection, a series of animal parodies of powerful Magic cards, or sometimes ones that just had some cultural cache. They’re cute, they’re collectable, and they aren’t around anymore.
This one was made in 2015, when the options for hippo tokens were more limited than today (I assume, at least), and when more people were probably playing Phelddagrif in Commander. It is also another foil option.
This is the first hippo token on the list that, while looking a bit cartoony, is also a demonstration of a type of hippo token: a purple hippo. This pool hippo (remember when I mentioned the pool? I bet you didn’t think that was coming back!) is unabashedly purple, not a shade between grey/purple, and not purple because we are looking at it through a purple lens like AmaranthAlchemy’s token. Just purple, unlike any hippo you will ever see out in the wild or in captivity (I hope). This is a purely fictional hippo, and we’re about to see many more.
As a token, you can use it to represent a hippo, it can catch fire like everything else, you can drop it and it’ll be fine, and feel free to shake it.
I rate this token 5 hippos out of 5!
JonnykHarvey/Helix Hippo Tokens available at their etsy store
The Helix tokens are unique in that these are the only ones depicting an entire hippo underwater. This could almost go in the first section, other than its hue the hippo is rather normal looking. The pattern of the water’s surface is visually interesting, as quite a few tokens eschew detailed backgrounds.
This token does not have the power/toughness on the token though, which is a demerit against it as a Phelddagrif token. Only because one may, hypothetically, use this token to represent that horrible token you get from the worst card in Magic.
As a token, you can use it to represent a hippo, it can catch fire like everything else, you can drop it and it’ll be fine, and feel free to shake it.
Moo Deng
Moo Deng was a boon to Phelddagrif. When that pygmy hippo got popular it reinvigorated the token making community to make some more hippo tokens. These hippo tokens do a good job of cutting the Gordian Knot of realistic hippo tokens by being a realistic hippo who is also very small. While it doesn’t really make sense for a full grown Bull Hippo to be a 1/1, baby Moo Deng is small and feisty enough to be a cute little 1/1 token.
And I wrote all of that and could not find a single Moo Deng hippo token that I couldn’t confirm wasn’t AI. Moving on!
I rate these tokens ZERO!!! Hippos out of 5 (because I couldn’t find any).
Children of Phelddagrif
There are many 1/1 hippo tokens that portray smaller versions of Phelddagrif. In some ways, these make sense, perhaps the tokens are meant to represent Phelddagrif’s offspring. It isn’t that Phelddagrif is conjuring hippos out of thin air, but they’re dropping their child off on your opponent’s proverbial stoop in order to…gain trample?
Steep cost for something so negligible, but fine.
Hippo Token by CatsAndCantrips available through Etsy
CatsAndCantrips token is a fun fourth wall breaking example of this. The hippo is clearly a smaller Phelddagrif, standing upright on its hind legs, and holding a sign saying “free hugs”. There’s a little fierceness to the Phelddagrif too, with their furrowed brow, perhaps a hint that these hugs aren’t as free as they’re advertised to be.
This token is cartoonish in style and execution, the hippo feels like bugs bunny, recognizing that they’re in a card game and advertising their strategy. My only gripe being that Phelddagrif need not only be defined as a group hug commander (they’re pretty good in prison strategies too), but the token being used in a group hug deck makes up for that.
Token score: representation, fire, drop, shake, 5/5.
Cloveralters token available through their etsy store
Cloveralters hippo tokens, also available in foil and surge foil, are adorable. This token generates a few questions: How is the hippo holding the basket? what is it doing with the basket? How is it flying? What horrors lurk in that hippo token’s mind, is that gleam in their eye friendly or mischievous? We don’t need answers because Phelddagrif is an absurd card. Although depicting the token flying on a token without flying could be confusing. Does comprehensive rule 203.1 also apply to tokens?
Token score: representation, fire, drop, shake, 5/5.
Hippo Token by Inklin Customs (Available on their store)
These tokens are adorable, and the second hippo that is under water. This one is a bit of a perplexing choice, one has to wonder what the wings are doing underwater. Perhaps they’re actually fins?
The tiny wings are great at communicating the power of this token. Phelddagrif’s wings are gigantic in comparison, and if the wings were kept proportional one could guess that this could be an adult Phelddagrif in a different style. Sort of like Secret Lair does to cards you know and love. But these tiny wings suggest that part of the Phelddagrif lifecycle is starting with tiny wings and then growing into a larger wingspan.
Token score: representation, fire, drop, shake, 5/5.
Patricio Soler alter sleeve token
This token perpetuates the head-canon that Phelddagrif’s grow into their wings. This guy is a wrinkly and ugly fellow, I love this chubby fucker. It’s also really neat that it’s an alter sleeve, which gives some functionality to your token (you can use a squirrel, saproling, any sort of 1/1 green creature token). There’s also a complimenting alter sleeve to keep a similar style between your commander and creature tokens.
Token score: representation, fire, drop, shake, 5/5.
GK Alters Hippo Tokens available at their etsy store
This one has nipples.
Rebellion
Anything can be a token. Glass beads, dice, pennies (rip), your cat’s claw trimmings? Go for it. It’s meant to represent what’s there, it’s not a real card and nothing says that it has to be a card. It’s about what you want to communicate. Using glass beads? You’re into the classics. Dice? You probably didn’t come prepared, and you should have. A facedown Magic card means you don’t respect morph.
So what if you used a card from a competitor such as, say, Yu-Gi-Oh?
Wouldn’t that send a message? That Wizards should watch their back, or someone’s going to eat their lunch and steal some silverware to boot. Not only did Konami give their players one hippo token, but three different arts to choose from! What variety! It’s practically the 3/3 Beast of Yu-Gi-Oh!
I highly endorse people using these as hippo tokens for their Phelddagrif deck. It might be a bit confusing since they’re “0/0” (which seems much weaker than any other token on this list), but there’s really only one power/toughness combination a hippo token could be (not 3/3).
These pieces of cardboard can represent a 1/1 hippo, they’re flammable like the others, you can drop them, you can shake them, do whatever you want with them!
The Ones You Make
There’s plenty of tokens you can find online and print out for yourself. Some I’ve already shared (like those baby Phelddagrif tokens I didn’t talk about), but there’s other hippo tokens you can make. For example, you could print the official Wizards hippo token.
Oh, you didn’t know that there was an official 1/1 hippo token made by Wizards? What am I complaining about, what’s the point of this article, if there’s an official 1/1 hippo token?
Because that token has been locked to being Magic: the Gathering Online exclusive.
I also heard the one below was the official Magic: the Gathering Online token until 2014, but I can’t find anything that confirms that.
These tokens are not flammable, they can’t even be dropped, and will take no damage from shaking them because they aren’t physical (until you print them out, in which case they’re about as good as every other hippo token). Here are the hippo emojis!
The Ones YOU Make
You can also make your own, draw them on scrap paper or use Infinitokens. Afterall, Wizards has little appetite for printing a 1/1 hippo token, they’d rather create a waifu mutant turtle, or anime spiderman or something. The Phelddagrif player has to take matters into their own hands and make their own tokens:
It literally costs nothing to try! I did, and they came out pretty bad. But I enjoy them enough anyways to give myself a perfect score:
What Did We Learn?
Any token that wasn’t made with AI art is wonderful, a treasure. Also, reviewing tokens with the same metrics Tolarian Community College reviews deckboxes is probably not the best way to review tokens. We also learned that those are all the possible hippo tokens one can purchase and I did not miss a single one. My collection is exhaustive and complete, and so is this review. Unless someone makes a new hippo token. What are the odds of that happening?
But, I leave you, dear reader, with this. There’s a tendency for players to desire the same token when they have to make many of the same thing, such as treasure tokens. It’s easier to recognize what’s in play when you only have to keep track of what one game piece looks like. I think the impulse to do this with hippo tokens is there as well, and I wouldn’t begrudge anyone who buys 5 of the same token and uses those for their Phelddagrif deck.
But I would encourage you to try having several different types of tokens to give out. Think of it as giving the right player the right gift, a token that matches their deck or personality, or for politicking. Maybe your opponent will be more swayed by the non-ai waifu hippo token (it exists, I’m not linking it, I have it though and it gets 5 hippo emojis like the other ones did). Or maybe they’ll get a kick out of the M:tGO printed token.
It might add a little more color, more texture to the game, make it a bit messier and disrupt the same old stale board state you normally see.
Subscribe if you like!
Leave a Reply