Category: Phelddagrif Musings

“What a strange demented feeling it gives me when I realize I have spent whole days before this inkstone, with nothing better to do, jotting down at random whatever nonsensical thoughts have entered my head.”

-Tsurezuregusa of Kenkō (Trans. Donald Hall)

“I know of one Greek labyrinth which is a single straight line. Along that line so many philosophers have lost themselves that a mere detective might well do so, too.”

-Death and the Compass by Jorge Luis Borges

Seedtime is 2 mana instant for one generic and one green mana that gives players an extra turn. It only does this if an opponent has cast a blue spell that turn.

The term “Seedtime” refers to “a season of sowing” or “a period of original development. 

The art is classic Rebecca Guay woman doing something in nature. This time, she’s laying on some tree trunks with blue flowers coiling around her. Her left hand is held up with her palm facing forward commanding a halt, while her left hand is surrounded by a pale blue glow. Her position, and the surrounding vegetation, is reminiscent of the painting of John Everett Millais painting of Ophelia. I wonder what that’s about?

Seedtime is unique in being an instant, but it can only be played during your turn. This is a bit odd since the effect is not immediate, you’ll get the extra turn anyways, but it allows the player to cast the spell in response to a blue instant, say an impulse or opt, at the end of turn, allowing you to go through your extra turn with your opponent down on resources. The name doesn’t quite match the card’s name and sewing seeds as a metaphor. It feels a bit dissonant for planting the seeds for further success to be done at instant speed, or as a reactive action. But the card conjures a feeling of waiting, of discerning timing of when to “deploy” Seedtime. This feels more like an ambush, a trap, playing more like a blue spell that it seeks to hose. The green mage is waiting for the blue mage to respond, who is waiting for the green player to do something worth countering or responding to. Now imagine how much wasted time there is when the blue mage suspects the green mage of holding a Seedtime.

At the bottom of the card we reach perhaps the most befuddling flavor text ever created in Magic: the Gathering, a linguistic labyrinth, a semiotic snarl, a perfect mystery. Something that twists the mind into knots and exerts the vocal chords into forcing out a deflating “huh?”

I’m familiar with aphorisms, I’m not supid.¹ I’ve heard“The road up and the road down is one and the same.” and “whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent.” And I still have no clue what Seedtime’s flavor text is supposed to convey. It’s so baffling that I feel like I’ve been struck by the torpedo-fish. There has to be some meaning behind it. We’re nearly 400 words in, it can’t mean nothing!

I would be fine, perfectly fine, if it wasn’t for the flavor text’s subject. After all, what looks like a hippo with wings?

This one bit of flavor text might be the only in world lore of Phelddagrif, the only time it is obliquely mentioned on a card and taken as a known quantity in the fantasy world of Dominia.² But can we be sure that this is about Phelddagrif? How could we know, when the flavor text is so opaque and it’s hard to tell what it’s about at all!

Normally, this type of flavor text isn’t very difficult to understand. The attribution of flavor text to a cultural teaching, a saying, some bit of plane-specific philosophy has been a long standing feature of the game. The one that springs to my mind is the 5th edition Llanowar Elves from 1997. 

This specific example gives the reader an idea of the judicial system of Llanowar, but this bit of penal code helps flesh out the player’s idea of Llanowar. The flavor text evokes the Code of Hammurabi with unflinching violence and a focus on proportion. It also illustrates how Llanowar values the non-anthropomorphic natural world to the point that trespassing isn’t a violation of the person, but a violation of the will of the natural world. Pretty good for just twelve words.

Aphorism as flavor text is older than Llanowar elves, and there’s even more specific examples closer to the structure of Seedtime’s Aphorism. Mirage’s Pyric Salamander in 1996 offers insight to trauma responses and how that fear can hold a grasp on us. It also points out how scary and big dragons are.

And in Lion’s Eye Diamond:

Lion’s Eye Diamond recognizes that the saying might be difficult to parse without context, offering an translation of the aphorism to the reader.³

But that was just looking at “sayings”. There’s more than one way to say “saying”. Take “proverb” for example:

Draconian Sylex, printed in 1994, and rightfully part of the reserved list, offers a look into the Icatian way of life. This one, not appealing to fantastic and expensive things like dragons and Lion’s Eye Diamonds, needs less explanation. The Icatians believe that there is no gain without sacrifice, a moral spin on the second law of thermodynamics, and a klein-bottle twist on the body-building mantra “no pain, no gain.” 

There’s a lot of flavor text like this in the game. Plenty of proverbs, sayings, adages, poems, expressions, dwarvish forge-chants, troll chants (which are traditional?), riddles, and aphorisms, but what about teachings? A teaching is different from the rest of that cherry-picked list in that previous sentence. “Teachings” may point to a larger body of knowledge, not just one-off specific lessons like one of Aesop’s fables. Are there enough lessons to try and “recreate” this body of knowledge, knowing that the lesson from Seedtime falls in there somewhere?

We can always try, we’ve wasted so much time already. There are 22 cards which are attributed as a teaching from culture or ideology in Magic. 9 of those come from the Nantuko. They have the largest share of flavor text focused on teachings by a wide margin, with “Teachings of Eight-and-a-Half-Tails” having the second most at three.

Wow, those Nantuko are some studious bug nerds. Who are they?

Who are the Nantuko?

Not to be confused with the more recently re-introduced mantis looking Eumidians from Edge of Eternities: The nantuko are, according to the Odyssey Style Guide: “a race of wise, mantis-like creatures…Spiritually close to nature.”  The earliest nantuko may be from The Brothers’ War as part of the Thelonite Order, but that’s not confirmed anywhere other than art for that one card. Besides, if it was ever true, it may have already been retconned. 

The Nantuko of the Krosan Forest are thought of as contemplative by the other species of Otaria, or at least imagined as thinkers compared to goblins, who do not have a lot of teachings. The Nantuko respect for nature is juxtaposed by their disdain towards artifice, as well as magic using black mana. They also have an interesting relationship with death, sometimes turning into shades, indicating some transgression (maybe) has taken place by that individual. Although that’s not always the case, sometimes the Nantuko end up being weird stoically-smiling ghosts. 

Phantom Nantuko proposes a problem with Nantuko clothing. It’s hard to tell how many clothes are appropriate for Nantuko, as the ghost is naked, but the Broodhatch Nantuko is  geared up in leather, an odd choice for a “nature lover”. I wonder if the Nantuko raise cattle? There seems to be a large continuum on how much clothing a Nantuko wears…

There is a single legendary Nantuko: Thriss. He is the oldest of the Nantuko and, according to the Judgment Player’s Guide, has been around since shortly after the Ice Age, where he planted the seeds that became the Krosan Forest. 

All that stuff about the “planet-wide apocalypse” and the devastation the Mirari is going to cause is fine, but what’s really interesting is the bit about the last ice age. There was another creature that made their debut shortly after Ice Age:

I don’t know what else Thriss did other than teach Kamahl to be a druid instead of a barbarian. Thriss was probably mutated by the Mirari and then died when the Krosan Forest was destroyed. 

Perhaps Thriss and Phelddagrif had met at some point? Could the Nantuko teaching from Seedtime be a historical fact, and Phelddagrif fought a condor and Thriss saw it and thought “I should tell people about this in the future.” Although this is a bit specious: who is the condor? Why isn’t it an eagle, a griffon, another Phelddagrif? There are hardly any condors in Magic, the only condor around by the time Seedtime was printed was Skyshroud condor.

Which is on a different plane entirely! Airdrop Condor would be printed a couple months after:

After Legions, Wizards stopped making Nantuko cards for 20 years, until Springheart Nantuko was printed in Modern Horizons 3, implying that they also may have originated from Kamigawa, slipping into Dominaria from the portal the Myojin of Night’s Reach opened to Madara.⁴

I’m not sure if understanding Nantuko culture helped with any interpretation of Seedtime other than taking it literally as Thriss seeing a flying hippo and a condor fight and telling other Nantuko about it. Although it may give some understanding for looking at the other teachings, and, through reading those together we might assemble a gestalt of Nantuko philosophy to guide an interpretation of Seedtime’s flavor text. 

The Nantuko Teachings

A Note on Order

Approaching a collection of “teachings” brings a difficulty: what order to you read them in? Whether it’s the fragments of Heraclitus or the Tao Te Ching, the editor has to consider how to present these teachings and how to “stitch” these together.

Luckily, I get to side-step this conversation thanks to the ontological neutrality of collector numbers. So, no agenda here. Besides, we’re hoping to get a general idea of Nantuko ideology to help interpret a specific teaching, so the order may not matter much anyways.

Odyssey

Nantuko Disciple⁵

Nantuko Elder⁶

Nantuko Mentor⁷

Refresh⁸

Simplify⁹

Torment

Dwell on the Past¹⁰

Judgment

Nantuko Tracer¹¹

Seedtime

Still nothing to say about this one. Starting to think the most likely theory is that this was a story Thriss told young nantuko to scare them.

Onslaught

Nantuko Husk¹²

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Can any conclusions be drawn from this? What might we say, after this deep dive into all the remaining Nantuko Teachings, Nantuko Philosophy is?

We know that the Nantuko believe in a soul, although it’s indeterminate whether it is immortal or not. They also believe that the spirit is separate from life and death. The tension between life and death as opposites is near the center of Nantuko philosophy. But at the core, Nantuko teachings seem very interested in identity and the self, as well as notions of personal responsibility: One should not necessarily seek solace in prayers because they could go unanswered, it’s better to do what needs to be done yourself. There’s a focus that the self should be industrious, and self-reliant, not relying on “wishes” or “prayers”, that there’s a risk in being “rooted” in something larger than oneself. And that the power of the self can be so strong it can literally ward off death.

Oh my god.

The Nantuko were libertarians, weren’t they?

The Interview

No…no…This is hard hitting investigative journalism attempting to solve the mystery of seedtime, not fanfiction. I will not brook unsubstantiated claims! I needed confirmation, something official. Obviously, it’s best to hear from the horse’s mouth. Who better than consulting the person who wrote the flavor text about what they were thinking when they wrote it? 

Obviously, dear reader, there was some difficulty in tracking this person down. The flavor text was written over 20 years ago. I have a hard time remembering what I wrote yesterday, so it might be unlikely that anyone could remember what they intended by writing it.¹³ Even more difficult, flavor text was written in house at Wizards during that time, and no one may know who was responsible for writing which flavor text. Some said that it was impossible, I’d never find Seedtime’s flavor text author and, even if I did, they would never talk to me. Others said it was too difficult, which, since I shrink at any resistance within the first zeptosecond, meant it was also impossible. 

And those people were right. Good on them! I couldn’t find anyone who would talk to me about Seedtime’s flavor text.

The trail stopped cold here. I can look at these texts all I want, mix and match them, collage them and put them in a summoning circle surrounded by Contracts from Below until the Holy Cows come home, but I’ll never really understand what the flavor text of Seedtime is about, what it’s trying to get at. It’s semantic nonsense, a bedfellow of the Walrus and the Carpenter. If only one could reveal the numinous meaning at the core of things by cutting them open and looking inside, literally getting to the core of the issue.

If only it was that easy!

Might as well give it a shot.

hmm…Well…Here’s what the cards say inside them:

The Fable of the Hippo and the Condor: A Nantuko Teaching

After the Ice Age, the ground thawed and the world teetered as its denizens relearned what warmth was. The world swung between harvest and desperate famines, and contagion spread across the world.

In this new world the condor believed it was their duty to bring order. The condor, holding court from its perch, claimed to see all from above, and would clean up the disease and carcass littered world. There were those who rebuked the condor’s magnanimity, claiming the condor was a tyrant imposing their will. But the condor had a rebuttal for each appeal.

“You swim in greed and are blind for it,” said the condor. “Such fecundity will be rot without end. Their blood will drench the ground and crush your crops, leaving nothing for the dirt to grow. The bones of the dead will fill the sky and blot the sun.” Which many found hard to argue against.

One day, while the condor flew seeking carrion, it received a request from a merchant.

“The road ahead has been blocked by a stone between this city and the next,” said the merchant. “With your swift wings, you would be able to carry the stone off the road, clearing the road and helping us continue to rebuild.”

“I am impartial,” the condor told the merchant. “And not used to taking requests. I take and clean as the world needs to return to a world that knows how to live with warmth, and to survive it without succumbing to fiery conflagration. I’m not a gravel huckster. Why not deal with this yourself?”

The merchant explained that they had tried, but none were able to move the stone. It was being guarded by the hippo, who was too strong for the merchant, the farmers, and the knights combined. “I cannot sell my wares, and the farmers are unable to bring their crops to the city. Without the road, the city cannot dispatch knights to deal with the bandits in the country. Without the road, the world cannot move on.”

The condor, seeking to return to a world that once was, warmth and all that yadda yadda, took up the request while making it clear to the merchant that it was not exchanging services but working towards a common goal. 

The condor flew down the road and saw the hippo, standing resolutely over the stone. Seeing the determined expression in the hippos eyes, a furrowed brow and determined grin, the condor tried to reason with the hippo first. Perhaps conflict could be avoided.

 “You must move on. The merchants, farmers, and kingdom need this road.” Said the condor.

The Hippo, a proud and noble beast who was not unfair, questioned why they must hinder themselves for those weaker than it, why must it relinquish what it had earned fairly, gesturing to the giant rock, by the sweat of its brow and the strength of its thighs, shoulders, loins and mind? Why must it cede what is theirs?

“The world cannot heal if you stay here,” explained the condor. “Eventually, all cedes to time, and, while unfair and unknowable, it is how the world is. We have no teachings on how to avoid death by igniting our soul or something like that.”

“It wasn’t meant to be this way.” Said the hippo.

“This is the only way for it to be.” Said the condor. Reason and understanding were not working, and the condor, reluctant, resorted to force, swooping down and soaring into the sky with the hippo’s stone.

The hippo continued to argue, and, when that didn’t work, begged the condor for more time.

The condor would only say “It will only bring you pain.” as it continued to fly away.

As the hippo felt their stone-like-burden (which is literally a stone) lifted from them, they also felt themselves grow lighter, but not any less determined. And so, seeking to take back what was lost, the hippo grew wings to fight the condor.

Thriss’ Final Commentary on The Fable of the Condor and The Hippo:

Bored, bored, bored! How bored I am of all these commentaries, of writing, of wetting my nib and scrawling on these dried leaves. I have left so many commentaries, on the condor being death, the hippo grief, on the violence of the state through taxation, heaps upon heaps of attacks on The Cabal, the nature of death, the motion of the heavens, how to crystallize a peach and milk a baloth…and there is no end! Words still come and I continue to write.

The monastery continues to publish these, handing out the leaflets of Thriss’ latest commentary, later, after a long process of review and a longer process of cultural adoption for it to become a new “teaching”…I can’t blame the monastery. I planted the seeds and named this forest “Krosa”, after all. This is what it is to be the Primus.

So I continue to write, and the forest continues to grow, roots penetrating further into the Earth while words continue their march across the page. How does one know when this stops, if not all at once and abruptly? It would be like dimming a candle; there is light until there is none. In the face of such instantaneity, what else can we do other than continue? Death, as natural as life, can only be defeated through the absurd belief that our projects keep going after we are gone, that others take up the nibs and continue our linguistic lineage. There is no guarantee, though, perhaps my descendants will scratch out my words and replace them with their own. History is rewritten, words acting like portals opening to other worlds and invading our home. Who is to say how it has ever been, or ever will be. 

How absurd. How absurd. 

How absurd. And yet, I continue. This is believing the hippo grows wings to fight the condor, to do otherwise is to lay down in defeat. 

---

My first encounter with Phelddagrif was not with the original Alliances printing, but with Questing Phelddagrifs. I started collecting them, and, eventually someone keyed me in that my growing collection had a predecessor in Phelddagrif. It blew my mind that two different cards could appear to show the same thing while also being wildly different. One is clearly purple, the other thick grey skin; purple wings with spikes, the wings of a condor; one roaring in triumphant glory, the other with a peaceful enigmatic gaze. These Magic cards could show change across time, a story of a character at two different points in a story? The gears in my head started to turn, there might be more to this game than meets the eye…

But is there? So many decks, so much product around this flying purple creature-that-looks-like-a-hippo. It’s so much time spent writing and reading and rewriting about this thing. And I’m nowhere closer to understanding Seedtime’s flavor text, or if its connected to Phelddagrif at all!

Surely, this time must have meant something.

---

Seedtime is a bizarre color hoser from older Magic. The card asks the player to consider time, or timing, at least. The card is an instant, and can be played at any time, but only during your turn. It’s responsive, you only get something if your opponent cast a blue spell. Otherwise, nothing happens. The card makes the player consider time and timing. You have to predict not only what your opponents have in their hand, whether they want to play a spell on your turn or not, but what is in your opponent’s deck, or what opponents you’ll face at an event when playing the spell. You could run into red decks all day, and then you devoted slots to a card that does literally nothing. It might never happen, you might never get to take that extra turn. And then you spent your time doing nothing for no good reason.

1. I am not too proud to avoid an obvious and cheap joke. ↩︎
2. This is not a typo. I meant to type it that way, to establish some Vorthos cred. ↩︎
3. Although I think we could have gotten there, understanding that lions are generally dangerous and to have one looking at you might mean you’re in a tough situation. The reader understands that, because this is a saying, unless Zhalfirin has a major voyeuristic lion problem, this is meant to be taken metaphorically. Still, this clarification is nice, and it would have been nicer to have one on Seedtime. ↩︎
4. Which doesn’t exactly contradict the Thelonite Order thing, but the Thelonite Order turning into Nantuko was never confirmed anyways. ↩︎
5. This teaching places an emphasis on silence. A simple reading of this teaching would lead us to believe that the silence is the response of negation for our prayer. But the teaching isn’t emphasizing silence, but negation. The “un”answer is the answer to the prayer, the negation of something contains a germ of the positive description. It’s reminiscent of the apophatic way, or an argument via negativa,of the medieval theologian Pseudo-Dionysus. The response, which is given (even if unanswered), is so holy, so transcendent that it gets interpreted as silence.  ↩︎
6. “Shit in one hand and wish in another and see which fills up first.” is the first thing that comes to mind reading this, although the Nantuko are a little less vulgar. The farming analogy is interesting, and a bit difficult to parse if the Nantuko view agriculture favorably or not. Viewed negatively, perhaps it is a teaching about the insidiousness of wishing, the addictive quality of counterfactuals that leads to regret and resentment: a metaphysical If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. Viewed in a more positive light, perhaps it is a teaching about cultivating a positive view of the universe and attracting the good you want in the world.  
   A weird flavor text to include in the block that contained the original wishes. As written, both Cunning Wish and Burning Wish, could actually get copies of themselves. This, combined with Mirari, could lead to loops of wishing for a card and using the Mirari copy to get the original wish. ↩︎
7. So far, the Nantuko philosophy is leaning towards statements bordering on tautology. Of course a field of wishes would grow wishes. A field of carrots doesn’t grow cabbages. It’s unfair to think of these bits of flavor text emulating koans that way though.
   I suppose a reading of this could be about avoiding “rootedeness”, an attempt to persuade one to not be attached to the physical world, to those things that are changing, to not “root” yourself down, or to grow, to add to oneself, without being fixated on one thing. A plea to draw water from many wells.
   Once again, another weird flavor text considering that the white faction in Odyssey block were Nomads. The Order were also deeply spiritual, so perhaps there is some cultural cross-pollination of ideas occurring here, although the flavor text of Beloved Chaplain points to Nomad and Nantuko standing opposite of each other in some sense. ↩︎
8. Getting a bit into metaphysics here, that our death is inscribed in our beginnings, a recognition of mortality as being the other half of mortality. The “inner fire” suggests that death can be warded off through intensity of ego, and that death is a force that effaces the personal. A couple things that are odd here (anticipating future teachings) is that death is characterized as neutral if not harmless. Before Kamigawa’s Kabuto Moth, moths were not a very threatening force in Magic. A dancing moth doesn’t exactly seem like a powerful adversary that one must defeat. More like a chore to take care of in order to live a healthy life. Repair the screen door to keep the moths out, warn them off with fire, put the poison in your clothes so moths don’t eat them, continue to live in order to avoid death.
   The image of fire is odd here because Nantuko aren’t often seen or associated with fire. That would be the barbarians and dwarves. But I guess fire is universal enough that I shouldn’t be splitting hairs here. ↩︎
9. Perhaps a look into  Nantuko Aesthetic theory, that there are periods of “beauty” (when the blossom’s petals open) as well as periods without (during seasons with frost). This could indicate a natural aesthetic cycle, that there are seasons with and without beauty and they are dependent on the conditions of the environment, perhaps not just the natural world but the structures and “seasons” of one’s life as well.
   It’s hard to tell if there is some psychology here too, because one could read the blossom closing as a reaction to “frost”, one’s psyche closing one off as a defense mechanism. The frost could also be the I, that one should not  have a frosty demeanor (or “a mind of winter” as some horrible poet would put it) otherwise they will close the blossoms around them. ↩︎
10. Another tautology, along the lines of “It’s always in the last place you look.” Perhaps a warning against fruitless searching, and an affirmation of Nantuko Philosophy of identity and semiotics. This brushes against Russel’s Barber paradox, trying to cleanly cut the gordian knot of that thorny philosophical dilemma.
    Perhaps this points towards a bit of Nantuko Theology/Atheism, suggesting that there isn’t an omnipotent metaphysical force so great that it can break the rules of logic while remaining consistent. “None”, meaning “no thing”, can do this. If the Nantuko were asked “Could God make a boulder so heavy he could not lift it?” The Nantuko would say “No”, and perhaps also say that there isn’t a God (at least in that sense). ↩︎
11. Charitably, there’s an interpretation towards Aristotelian metaphysics here, that our past creates our meaning in the world. This could be taken as a teleological argument, the acorn has the potential of an oak tree, but it isn’t as fixed as that. A map can show one where they will go, but a map isn’t a set of rules forcing one onto that path. There may be inertia of my personal history causing me to write about Phelddagrif, but perhaps tomorrow I’ll start carving the path towards an obsession with Brushwaggs instead. ↩︎
12. This feels like it’s retreading the teaching from Refresh, although it’s painting it in a less adversarial light and showing life and death as a sort of two-halves-of-the-same-coin, and that the moment of death is not a victory over life, but an embrace between the two creating a sense of balance.
    Perhaps, myself already primed here, this is similar to notions of death in the Tao Te Ching, that one does not simply “die” or “pass on”, but matter returning or changing shape, and the only thing that is lost is that form of matter, but the identity of the person (the soul) continues on in some fashion. ↩︎
13. Although the flavor text is so iconic that is hard to imagine, but keeping an open mind is a virtue I’m trying to cultivate this year and not any longer. ↩︎

On March 6, 2026, I skeeted out the following:

I had thrown down the gauntlet, challenged the Magic community, and, engaged with social media to hold myself accountable to pushing out a real turd of a piece of writing. Yet, my think-pieces are seminal works in the Phelddagrif community, getting 100% of all possible upvotes when they’re posted in reddit.com/r/phelddagrif. I know the people will talk about what I write, because they love to think my thoughts with me. Paradoxically, I set myself up to fail by making this post, which made me a little bit angry.

Almost as angry as Wizards continued refusal to print an official 1/1 hippo token while this thing exists:

Hypothetically, if you need a 1/1 hippo token while playing in the feature match area of something like, let’s say, the Magic: the Gathering Pro Tour, you won’t have anything to represent it with! They’ll probably kick you out!

What is a humble Phelddagrif player to do? Go to etsy dot com and sort through a heap of AI Waifu tokens to find a suitable hippo token to play with? How horrible, how atrocious, how despondently despair inducing. Sifting through the unreal, those that were merely generated to find the illustrated; Who will sift through the tokens made with tools that induce psychosis to find the ones that were made with care and don’t poison the air. It would take a paragon of great moral character to act as a counterweight to the moral turpitude of tokens with AI art.

Sometimes, in the depths of our deepest anger, we arrive at a brilliant idea on how to escape our flippant social media promises: What if I, Questioning Phelddagrif, reviewed all possible hippo tokens? I have already braved the pornographic sands of the ai-riddled internet for every human generated hippo token one can purchase. Why, it might be a public good, offering a service to the community, while appealing to the lowest common denominator as a rating listicle. And you, dear reader, can’t get angry and say this is unexpected because I’ve done this genre before, you thought I forgot? A Phelddagrif never forgets! 

Besides, I already have these tokens on my desk next to my extra copies of Intruder Alarm, Seedborn Muse, and Angel’s Trumpets. How long could this take, realistically?

Realistic

A token already prompts the question about what ‘the real’ is. A token is meant to be a representation, but they are far from being some sort of ghostly presence that points away from itself. Tokens are game pieces with impact, with heft! Creature tokens can attack and block, deal damage and all sorts of other things! You can Wrath of God a creature token. Could God wrath away a ‘representation’? I’m not sure, and I doubt it.

Many artists take the path of portraying the 1/1 hippo as a realistic hippo. One you might see in the wild, locked in a zoo, or at your local or non-local swimming pool. These depict the gaping maws, the incisors and the rippling muscles of beasts driven by instinct. And the water, oh god, yes, the water these hippos are in! You cannot deny that it is sometimes a feature as well. 

Classic Art Token available through Original Magic Art

These Gustav Mutzel tokens were the first set of hippo tokens I got when I started to play Phelddagrif. The classical art tokens series is a really genius idea. Use what is already there, literally reframing the work into a game piece. The piece itself is great, the wise and weary eyes of the mother hippo looking up at her calf standing on her neck with an impish grin. These aren’t looks of pain, but of a comedy duo performing some cosmic routine. And wow! That foot on the rock in the foreground is so large and ominous. I wonder what it will do.

Unfortunately, The foot is done a disservice with the textbox giving the title of the work and artist, a necessary addition but one that hinders the work and crowds the foot. Cropping it to focus solely on mostly the head of the larger hippo also detracts a point from me.

There is a pleasant confusion created by this token as well: which hippo is supposed to be the token? surely that fully grown hippo doesn’t quite seem like a 1/1 (which will be a common refrain throughout these reviews), but this piece has both a baby hippo and an adult. This recollects Ron Spencer’s Bear Cub, which focuses on the cute bear about to get attacked by the first token ever made, while mother bear lurks half in frame, ready to jump in and defend her cub. This interpretation doesn’t make so much sense, where bears have been established as 2/2 creatures, hippos are, usually, larger. So which is the one the Phelddagrif player is giving? How delightful, to give your opponents a riddle!

But that’s just the art! What about how this functions as a token? Well, you can put it on your board to represent a 1/1 hippo token. It’s flammable, but most cardboard is as well. I dropped the token from a height of 10 feet and it didn’t shatter, so they’re also safe to do that with. I shook the token too, because I saw the Professor do that for his reviews, and the token was shook. Overall, you can use this token to represent something on your board, especially a 1/1 hippo token.

I rate this token 5 hippos out of 5!

Hippo Token by Jeff A. Menges (Available through OMA)

While the last token was done by a classical artist (maybe, I don’t know), this token is done by a classic Magic artist. Swords to Plowshares, Bazaar of Baghdad, Moat! Jeff Menges has done many heavy hitter cards and this hippo token surely ranks up there! The green border is a great reminder of the creature’s color, and gives the token a ‘retro’ feel. I think this is an excellent representation of a hippo token with such a variety of colors from browns and whites to oranges and blues, while remaining grounded and not turning into a psychedelic Phelddagrif token experience. This is, perhaps, the most serious, or the least silly, hippo token on this list.

But what’s that bird doing there? Is the bird the one doing the attacking? Perhaps that’s why the token is so weak, since many bird tokens are 1/1s. Although there are almost as many that aren’t 1/1s. And with the exception of the chocobo token, they normally fly. Is the hippo meant to be the vehicle that delivers the bird to your opponent to give a light peck? I’m not sure, and the distracting bird will probably raise these same questions from your opponent trying to track the game state.

But that’s just the art! What about how this functions as a token? Well, you can put it on your board to represent a 1/1 hippo token. It’s flammable, but most cardboard is as well. I dropped the token from a height of 10 feet and it didn’t shatter, so they’re also safe to do that with. I shook the token too, because I saw the Professor do that for his reviews, and the token was shook. Overall, you can use this token to represent something on your board, especially a 1/1 hippo token.

I rate this token 5 hippos out of 5!

Hippo Token by Ken Meyer Jr. (Available through OMA)

KMJ’s token captures the kinetic force of a hippo on the savannah, spittle and blood flying from massive jaws as it lets out a pachyderm war cry. The artist of Mystic Remora and Kird Ape does not disappoint. This one begins to offer an answer as to why hippo tokens are so weak. Despite this being a particularly girthy hippo who, it could be that it is the spittle that’s hitting your opponent that deals a single damage. I don’t think it’s a particularly satisfying answer, but it’s making an attempt to answer our questions.

But that’s just the art! What about how this functions as a token? Well… you can put it on your board to represent a 1/1 hippo token. It’s flammable, but most cardboard is as well. I dropped the token from a height of 10 feet and it didn’t shatter, so they’re also safe to do that with. I shook the token too, because I saw the Professor do that for his reviews, and the token was shook. Overall, you can use this token to represent something on your board, especially a 1/1 hippo token.

I rate this token 5 hippos out of 5!

Rope Arrow Hippo Token (Available through OMA)

Rope Arrow takes their psychedelic style and applies it to the infamous hippo token. This hippo demonstrates their strength by smashing a watermelon, a Gallagher-inspired fruitsplosion juicing the viewer. I’m a big fan of this one for multiple reasons, but the name of the token being spelled out in watermelon chunks tops the list.

It’s easy to believe that a hippo in captivity might be a 1/1, having a meekness instilled in it from fellow captive creatures. And, I suppose, a launched watermelon seed would deal more damage than animal spit. The capacity for stupefying acts of violence lurks in the hearts of all creatures, can we really justify this one being so weak when the object of its wrath is more melon than cranium? Lest we forget that these zoo animals sometimes go rogue.

I heard a funny rumor about this token too, that it was commissioned by someone who is very handsome, sometimes funny, and whose company people sometimes enjoy! But enough about whoever that is, how does this work as a token?

As a token, you can use it to represent a hippo, it can catch fire like everything else, you can drop it and it’ll be fine, and feel free to shake it. These tokens come in a thicker card stock than the other ones too, they feel a bit more durable.

I rate this token 5 hippos out of 5!

Aaron Miller Hippo Token, (Available through the Artist’s Website)

Aaron Miller is no stranger to depicting hippos on a magic card, so it’s only fitting to use his tokens given the prominent role the Zombified Greatmaws played in the Aetherdrift story by pulling Basri and Zahur’s chariot to victory. Maybe the most lore relevant hippos will ever be.

Aaron Miller’s hippos stand firmly in the middle between KMJ’s and Jeff Menge’s hippo tokens. Miller’s hippo is languidly pushing itself through the water, but keeping its mouth open flashing its teeth to show that this hippo can do some real damage. The watercolor effect is stunning on the token as well, the discrete boundaries of the hippo melting away as the light reflects off the water. Half of the hippo is submerged in the water. 

A question about the reality of the beast: is it really there, or is it a trick of the light on the water, and how close will you get to find out?

This is the first token to be offered in foil on the list. Aaron Miller also offers these tokens in not only foil, but with the rainbow dragonfire signature as shown above. If you’re looking to “bling” out your Phelddagrif deck, this is a good choice. He is one of the few artists who still brings hippo tokens to cons, so you might be able to get one in person too if you catch him at a MagicCon!

As a token, you can use it to represent a hippo, it can catch fire like everything else, you can drop it and it’ll be fine, and feel free to shake it.

I rate this token 5 hippos out of 5!

AmaranthAlchemy Hippo Token (Available through their website)

This is the most egregiously ferocious of the “realistic” hippo tokens, and it definitely communicates “green” without just the border. It is an interesting take, that the viewer is watching a hippo while wearing night-vision goggles, but the teeth are way too sharp nearing fangs, to effectively convince me that this is really a 1/1 hippo. The lack of pupils and green tint makes this hippo look a bit too much like Slimer for my tastes.

As a token, you can use it to represent a hippo, it can catch fire like everything else, you can drop it and it’ll be fine, and feel free to shake it.

I rate this token 5 hippos out of 5!

Towerslayer 1/1 hippo tokens Available through their etsy store

These pixel pachyderms provide comic relief:  cross eyes and a silly grin with slightly open mouth. It’s hard to take these seriously and they aren’t trying to be taken seriously. The shade on the hippo skirts the line between the more world accurate grey to the fantastical purple, playing an optical trick that makes one wonder if a purple hippo really isn’t that crazy.

These begin to start to stretch the realm of “realistic”, but it isn’t the object of study that’s in the realm of the fantastic, but the style chosen to depict it. Perhaps there could be a more photorealistic hippo presented through pixel-art, but these tokens would look at home in any of those old videogames I never played. Maybe Super Mario?

As a token, you can use it to represent a hippo, it can catch fire like everything else, you can drop it and it’ll be fine, and feel free to shake it.

I rate this token 5 hippos out of 5!

The Unreal

“Questioning Phelddagrif,” You are saying, dear reader, as you sip your beverage of choice before forcing yourself the mandatory gulp the beverage that Society tells you to drink, “A video game isn’t real. A green hippo isn’t real either. Why can’t you understand that these are pictorial representations of hippos and not the real thing. Furthermore, there has always been some gap between art and game mechanics, especially power and toughness. It’s not fair of you to criticize these tokens in this way! And what does it mean to even review a token, especially if you’re going to say the same thing every time?!“

Which is a very astute observation. Perhaps it is too much to expect an answer to the question why a hippo token is so weak, at least in the realm of the real. Perhaps we should continue looking towards more abstract representations of hippos, marching further into the unreal, there’s no time to think about that second question!

Chibi Hippo tokens available at Megachibi.com

A chibi hippo is an odd task. The style’s hallmarks are a chubby body, stubby limbs and a large head, which a hippo normally has. THe major difference for this hippo is the anime eyes, large and expressive with (not just one!) but two reflections in it! While not as adorable as the little freak that Mützel drew, I still find this guy pretty cute! Other than the chibi style, this is a pretty normal looking hippo, not nearly as bizarre and strange as some of the others. Still, the style puts it on this side of the border between real and unreal.

As a token, you can use it to represent a hippo, it can catch fire like everything else, you can drop it and it’ll be fine, and feel free to shake it.

I rate this token 5 hippos out of 5!

RK Post Hippo Token (Available through the Artist’s Website)

A fixture at most magic conventions, RK Post hippo token depicts a dapper hippo doffing a suit jacket and tie. The hippo has something between a mellow and smug expression on their face, eyes half closed and wearing a sly smile. These tokens are simply fantastic, I would say some top tier hippo tokens and would not be surprised if these have graced many commander games in the past. I’m also a fan of the use of background to indicate the tokens color, an easy enough detail to miss or ignore entirely if you want to use the token for a different use (human tokens seem to come in a lot of colors, and there’s not much sense in getting a bunch of different ones). I am a huge fan of these surreal tokens, while depicting a realistic hippo it maintains the silliness of Phelddagrif. The only downside is that it reminds me of Alice in Wonderland, which is not a very good book.

Also, RK Post has this playmat, which, while not a hippo, feels like it has thematic resonances with Phelddagrif. If anyone agrees with me, I’ll buy one of these. Leave a comment, or respond on bluesky, telling me if you agree and I’ll support an artist.

As a token, you can use it to represent a hippo, it can catch fire like everything else, you can drop it and it’ll be fine, and feel free to shake it.

I rate this token 5 hippos out of 5!

StarcityGames Creature Collection Token by Andrea Radeck (Not available anymore, get a time machine or scour auction sites)

This one is the classic. Allegedly. I wasn’t playing Magic for the heyday of the creature collection, a series of animal parodies of powerful Magic cards, or sometimes ones that just had some cultural cache. They’re cute, they’re collectable, and they aren’t around anymore.

This one was made in 2015, when the options for hippo tokens were more limited than today (I assume, at least), and when more people were probably playing Phelddagrif in Commander. It is also another foil option.

This is the first hippo token on the list that, while looking a bit cartoony, is also a demonstration of a type of hippo token: a purple hippo. This pool hippo (remember when I mentioned the pool? I bet you didn’t think that was coming back!) is unabashedly purple, not a shade between grey/purple, and not purple because we are looking at it through a purple lens like AmaranthAlchemy’s token. Just purple, unlike any hippo you will ever see out in the wild or in captivity (I hope). This is a purely fictional hippo, and we’re about to see many more.

As a token, you can use it to represent a hippo, it can catch fire like everything else, you can drop it and it’ll be fine, and feel free to shake it.

I rate this token 5 hippos out of 5!

JonnykHarvey/Helix Hippo Tokens available at their etsy store

The Helix tokens are unique in that these are the only ones depicting an entire hippo underwater. This could almost go in the first section, other than its hue the hippo is rather normal looking. The pattern of the water’s surface is visually interesting, as quite a few tokens eschew detailed backgrounds.

This token does not have the power/toughness on the token though, which is a demerit against it as a Phelddagrif token. Only because one may, hypothetically, use this token to represent that horrible token you get from the worst card in Magic.  

As a token, you can use it to represent a hippo, it can catch fire like everything else, you can drop it and it’ll be fine, and feel free to shake it.

Moo Deng

Moo Deng was a boon to Phelddagrif. When that pygmy hippo got popular it reinvigorated the token making community to make some more hippo tokens. These hippo tokens do a good job of cutting the Gordian Knot of realistic hippo tokens by being a realistic hippo who is also very small. While it doesn’t really make sense for a full grown Bull Hippo to be a 1/1, baby Moo Deng is small and feisty enough to be a cute little 1/1 token.

And I wrote all of that and could not find a single Moo Deng hippo token that I couldn’t confirm wasn’t AI. Moving on!

I rate these tokens ZERO!!! Hippos out of 5 (because I couldn’t find any).

Children of Phelddagrif

There are many 1/1 hippo tokens that portray smaller versions of Phelddagrif. In some ways, these make sense, perhaps the tokens are meant to represent Phelddagrif’s offspring. It isn’t that Phelddagrif is conjuring hippos out of thin air, but they’re dropping their child off on your opponent’s proverbial stoop in order to…gain trample?

Steep cost for something so negligible, but fine.

Hippo Token by CatsAndCantrips available through Etsy

CatsAndCantrips token is a fun fourth wall breaking example of this. The hippo is clearly a smaller Phelddagrif, standing upright on its hind legs, and holding a sign saying “free hugs”. There’s a little fierceness to the Phelddagrif too, with their furrowed brow, perhaps a hint that these hugs aren’t as free as they’re advertised to be.

This token is cartoonish in style and execution, the hippo feels like bugs bunny, recognizing that they’re in a card game and advertising their strategy. My only gripe being that Phelddagrif need not only be defined as a group hug commander (they’re pretty good in prison strategies too), but the token being used in a group hug deck makes up for that.

Token score: representation, fire, drop, shake, 5/5.

Cloveralters token available through their etsy store

Cloveralters hippo tokens, also available in foil and surge foil, are adorable. This token generates a few questions: How is the hippo holding the basket? what is it doing with the basket? How is it flying? What horrors lurk in that hippo token’s mind, is that gleam in their eye friendly or mischievous? We don’t need answers because Phelddagrif is an absurd card. Although depicting the token flying on a token without flying could be confusing. Does comprehensive rule 203.1 also apply to tokens?

Token score: representation, fire, drop, shake, 5/5.

Hippo Token by Inklin Customs (Available on their store)

These tokens are adorable, and the second hippo that is under water. This one is a bit of a perplexing choice, one has to wonder what the wings are doing underwater. Perhaps they’re actually fins?

The tiny wings are great at communicating the power of this token. Phelddagrif’s wings are gigantic in comparison, and if the wings were kept proportional one could guess that this could be an adult Phelddagrif in a different style. Sort of like Secret Lair does to cards you know and love. But these tiny wings suggest that part of the Phelddagrif lifecycle is starting with tiny wings and then growing into a larger wingspan.

Token score: representation, fire, drop, shake, 5/5.

Patricio Soler alter sleeve token

This token perpetuates the head-canon that Phelddagrif’s grow into their wings. This guy is a wrinkly and ugly fellow, I love this chubby fucker. It’s also really neat that it’s an alter sleeve, which gives some functionality to your token (you can use a squirrel, saproling, any sort of 1/1 green creature token). There’s also a complimenting alter sleeve to keep a similar style between your commander and creature tokens.

Token score: representation, fire, drop, shake, 5/5.

GK Alters Hippo Tokens available at their etsy store

This one has nipples.

Rebellion

Anything can be a token. Glass beads, dice, pennies (rip), your cat’s claw trimmings? Go for it. It’s meant to represent what’s there, it’s not a real card and nothing says that it has to be a card. It’s about what you want to communicate. Using glass beads? You’re into the classics. Dice?  You probably didn’t come prepared, and you should have. A facedown Magic card means you don’t respect morph.

So what if you used a card from a competitor such as, say, Yu-Gi-Oh?

Wouldn’t that send a message? That Wizards should watch their back, or someone’s going to eat their lunch and steal some silverware to boot. Not only did Konami give their players one hippo token, but three different arts to choose from! What variety! It’s practically the 3/3 Beast of Yu-Gi-Oh!

I highly endorse people using these as hippo tokens for their Phelddagrif deck. It might be a bit confusing since they’re “0/0” (which seems much weaker than any other token on this list), but there’s really only one power/toughness combination a hippo token could be (not 3/3). 

These pieces of cardboard can represent a 1/1 hippo, they’re flammable like the others, you can drop them, you can shake them, do whatever you want with them!

The Ones You Make

There’s plenty of tokens you can find online and print out for yourself. Some I’ve already shared (like those baby Phelddagrif tokens I didn’t talk about), but there’s other hippo tokens you can make. For example, you could print the official Wizards hippo token.

Oh, you didn’t know that there was an official 1/1 hippo token made by Wizards? What am I complaining about, what’s the point of this article, if there’s an official 1/1 hippo token?

Because that token has been locked to being Magic: the Gathering Online exclusive.

I also heard the one below was the official Magic: the Gathering Online token until 2014, but I can’t find anything that confirms that.

These tokens are not flammable, they can’t even be dropped, and will take no damage from shaking them because they aren’t physical (until you print them out, in which case they’re about as good as every other hippo token). Here are the hippo emojis!

The Ones YOU Make

You can also make your own, draw them on scrap paper or use Infinitokens. Afterall, Wizards has little appetite for printing a 1/1 hippo token, they’d rather create a waifu mutant turtle, or anime spiderman or something. The Phelddagrif player has to take matters into their own hands and make their own tokens:

It literally costs nothing to try! I did, and they came out pretty bad. But I enjoy them enough anyways to give myself a perfect score:

What Did We Learn?

Any token that wasn’t made with AI art is wonderful, a treasure. Also, reviewing tokens with the same metrics Tolarian Community College reviews deckboxes is probably not the best way to review tokens. We also learned that those are all the possible hippo tokens one can purchase and I did not miss a single one. My collection is exhaustive and complete, and so is this review. Unless someone makes a new hippo token. What are the odds of that happening?

But, I leave you, dear reader, with this. There’s a tendency for players to desire the same token when they have to make many of the same thing, such as treasure tokens. It’s easier to recognize what’s in play when you only have to keep track of what one game piece looks like. I think the impulse to do this with hippo tokens is there as well, and I wouldn’t begrudge anyone who buys 5 of the same token and uses those for their Phelddagrif deck.

But I would encourage you to try having several different types of tokens to give out. Think of it as giving the right player the right gift, a token that matches their deck or personality, or for politicking. Maybe your opponent will be more swayed by the non-ai waifu hippo token (it exists, I’m not linking it, I have it though and it gets 5 hippo emojis like the other ones did). Or maybe they’ll get a kick out of the M:tGO printed token.

It might add a little more color, more texture to the game, make it a bit messier and disrupt the same old stale board state you normally see. 

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